#they all get my stupid snaps
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something silly from yesterdays evening class
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#liu qingge#luo binghe#mu qingfang#cameo from shen qingqiu also lol#anyway i only had my too hard pencil with me and a bigass eraser so its nothing much but who cares i thought its funny hjksf#LBH outside like wow this is..so stupid#LBH inside 'is that an important quality shizun looks for in a man?? am I delight at the doctors?? (thinks back to the kidnapping incident)#meanwile lqg being delusional king godspeed#not single one out of them is a good patient btw all of them are on thin ice#also i think mqf gets exasperated with everyone becasue everyone on that mountain is a disaster but doesnt show it usually#mostly just passive agression cuz hes professional and serene and all taht#BUT#i think it would be funny if LQG just grinds his gears so much with his reckless behaviour#so that most of the time hes the one who pushes him to actually outwardly snap#fhdjkshfk
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give me some whiskey and ill draw The Most Thing i can come up with
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#this wasnt the personal thing i wanted to draw this weekend but it has been on the back burner for a while so. it counts !!!!!!#i did sketch this last night. MODERATELY hammered and the final comic is Just A Tad diff from the sketch im wheezing#just in terms of angles but still thats huge to me#CHAT everyone knew i was gonna draw SOMETHING as soon as i saw those tentacles#however i flipped the script on you all. probably. idk SOMEONE prob assumed i woulda had magneto use them#but how the turn tables .... have turned. this is so stupid JVLKJVLA if this gets 5k on twitter ill do a charles ver MAYBE.#welcome back to my ongoing series of These Old Men Will Make Their Weird Love Affair Everyones Problem#i have an exam in the morning i need to stop this#ill have to this week like Truly but still VJELRKVJE I GOTTAAAA STOPPP DRAWIN THIS LATE#anyways. please enjoy this is so dumb but i got to try drawing charles' powers in effect so thats nice#i should do a study of that one day ... not anyday soon LMAO GOD moving on goodnight everyone !!
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A pokemon masters screenshot redraw that got Way Out Of Hand. (and I insist on posting this as a redraw, I feel the original context is Important)
Also, I finally remembered to record my process of drawing this (and then some :^D)
#volo#ウォロ#pokemon#pla#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon masters ex#mareep#giratina#yes it's there trust me#mine#fanart#so i took that snap and I thought it was hilarious and was immediately struck with an idea#I was like alright i need to draw him like a biblical fresco or something with a halo behind his head and holding a lamb#and then I just kept getting ideas and this went Someplace Else#but I'm still quite happy with it#the background gave me a lot of trouble though#on another canvas because I didn't want to show my struggle in the recording KHGD#but fwends helped and I'm eternally grateful#I was gonna add audio to the video#or I originally did#I had Volo's theme#then like two seconds of Doopliss' theme from Paper Mario ttyd#but then the video got in a stupid aspect ratio and I would have had to do it all over again And I Can't Be Bothered#ysee I was playing that with fiance while drawing this and wanted to draw that lil ghostie#and then yume nikki day happened and I had to draw Madotsuki#so yeah enjoy the process of that too#christ this is too many tags anyway take this
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza series#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#ryo aoki#masato arakawa#snap sketches#for once Not a commission i just. literally have not drawn anything for myself all month#and im going to explode if i dont grant myself ONE (1) government mandated break#also i was compelled. images kept attacking me#have to remind people that i still do in fact like rgg and i am still mentally ill#ok im gonnatry to finish one of my like. ninety comms tonight so i can finally get more time to draw more stupid shit like this BYE
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there’s a timeline where a smarter me didn’t sabotage herself by staying up late despite knowing how rough today would be but unfortunately it’s not this one
#my grandpa’s birthday :( i feel stupid for it like it’s been 2 years but i found some notes from him and my gramma cleaning recently#so it feels so raw and fresh rn honestly#and i’m extra sensitive and stressed about my parents and tired of getting snapped at by my mother all week#and tired in general like why did i stay up fr lmao anyway#the life and times
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Oh. I thought I had more time before they cut my health insurance and food stamps.
I guess my March timeline has been moved way up.
#fuck#of all things like#starving to death while my#thyroid or some shit kills me#I don’t know which one it will be#I take five meds multiple times a day#all for different things#fuck fuck#I have to cancel my dr apt tomorrow#fuck fuck fuck#we’re out of food#we were just about to get the SNAP benefits on friday#and do our monthly shop#fuck fuck fuck fuck#I thought we had a little more time#also uh#the local foodbanks are running on fumes#there’s nothing left most of the time#and with my fucking MCAS#I can’t eat most of it#my stupid fucking body
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love when i say "i don't want to" and get a "but i want you to" in response and that's the end of that. well at least we're no longer pretending that this is somehow about what's better for me or whatever the fuck
#“you know your last visit and me constantly bothering you brought me a lot of joy” and i was more suicidal than ive been in years#“idk maybe i won't live until next year” well you see. again. not only your concern but only one of us can talk about it#what's up with relatives using their futute demise as a gotcha anyway? my mother hit me with a “welll should i just kill myself then”#while “”apologizing“” for telling someone that im a lesbian for pity points and seeing that i don't fucking care about her sorrys#now this. idk maybe if you didn't fuck me up you wouldn't need all these mind games to get me to visit in the first place#and it always comes down to me being inherently cruel of course. keep pushing and pushing and pushing until i snap and then act as if#it happened for no reason. im just like that. sure. i fucking wish i would allow myself to be actually cruel with you just to give a taste#“because i love you” you do not and im not stupid enough anymore to believe you do but sure keep telling yourself that#im just a failure with no interiority to you what is there to even love. the idea of fixing me or playing family? spare me#anyways. day is off to a good start
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the terrifying moment of realization when talking to a self proclaimed Leftist when you can immediately tell “oh. this person has never done an hour of community service in their life.” like. i know it’s been said before but your politics truly do not matter if you’re not interacting with your community in any way. you can vote in every single election and it will not have a fraction of the impact of 17 year old tyler who got sentenced to 20 hours of picking up litter and weeding the community garden. you can never once vote out of protest and read piles of theory and not come close to making the change that the group of 80 year old catholic ladies at St. Mary’s on the corner do with their weekly community meals and school supply drives. we live in the rotting corpse of an evil empire. ideas mean fucking nothing. the only thing that matters at all is physically extending a hand to try to help the people around you.
#getting super involved in volunteer work in my tiny ass town in rural ohio has perhaps radicalized me more than anything else#like truly it is so easy to make sure peoples lives have been tangibly improved even in some small way#just by serving and packaging meals or sorting through clothing donations#or keeping kids entertained while their parents talk to someone abt SNAP or even fucking scrubbing the sinks and toilets in a halfway house#because the residents have much bigger things to worry about than cleaning#all things i’ve done within my own town that were easy and fun and great ways to socialize and meet people near me#literally just fucking google volunteer opportunities + your city and there that’s more praxis than 90% of this fucking webbed site#god. sorry for the rant. can you tell i’ve been seeing an i fluc of Very Stupid posts recently#influx*
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Hey in my 'Penelope slipping into monsterhood is her unweaving her work for the first time fic' what if I made Athena/feel/ the snapping of the thread, she can feel the unraveling in her soul. What if I made it so that Penelope had taken a vow as Athena's blessed weaver. What if Athena was /pissed/ about this
#Penelope#Athena#Penelope unweaving her work and how it fucked her up an essay by me#Athena: already upset because she cannot stop fucking thinking about her stupid (ex) champion/best friend/pet#Last week she had to witness some stupid shit and was halfway to Ithaca on automatic to complain about it with odysseus#Got half way there realized what she was doing and has been in a rage since#Like hell is /she going to reach out/ not before odysseus is fucking groveling and begging for her forgiveness#She is the goddess here after all.#And no it does not fucking matter that she hasn't slept since then (she cannot stop thinking about odysseus about what ifs#And why he hasn't prayed yet and she has just the awfulest feeling that something is wrong but like hell is she ever going to admit that#And it's not a problem fuck off Apollo#And she's in the middle of this sleeplessness restlessness when she feels one of her vows /snap/#Like a thread unnerving#From Ithaca#Athena gets a glimpse of penelope /her weaver/ purposefully ruining a beautiful weaving /done with thread Athena PERSONAL SPUN#Thread that she gifted penelope to be used only in the specialist of occasions or when she is /making something for Athena's personal templ#And just like that she's rages again. She gave these two EVERYTHING AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY HER WITH BROKEN VOWS#AND DISOBEDIENCE AND BETRAYAL HOW DARE THEY#later#Athena will calm down#Later Athena will learn of the true circumstances of the suitors and the treats of murder and rape and the sheer amount of desperation#And she will drown in guilt that she had so throughly abandoned her own#That she did not swoop down in that instance and slaughter all of the disgusting men hounding /her mortals(family)/#But in this moment in her rage she is not listening closely enough to the prayers she is not taking in details and she'll regert it later#Some of her hurt/rage is spilling over from odysseus onto penelope and#Athena is convincing herself that odysseus probably made it home fine by now#(She knows that she's kidding herself but that denial is running deep right now)#Penelope to be fair knows this is going to be pallas athenas reaction. She knows but what other choice does she have?#Penelope: if it's monstrous to throw away your gifts to choose my husband over the favor you have shown me#Then I must become the monster
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Just watched Underverse 0.8 Part 1 and HOLY SHIT DOES THIS SERIES HIT HARD OH MY STARS HOW DOES JAKEI DO THIS
#NOOOO NOT TORI#AND X!TORI'S ILLUSION THING#AND THE CONFRONTATIONS BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE CHARACTERS#AND JUST THE FACT THAT CROSS' SCAR IS GONE NOW AND HIS OUTFIT'S BACK TO ITS ORIGINAL STATE AND THE WHOLE THING ABOUT X!PAP CALLING HIM SANS#HE MANAGED TO BUILD AN IDENTITY FOR HIMSELF DESPITE EVERYTHING#AND THEN SNAP ALL THE PHYSICAL REFLECTIONS OF THAT ARE GONE#BUT HE'S NOT SANS#HE'S CROSS#AND THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE NO MATTER WHAT#AND AJSJGHJADHJAHDFAHUHUAHAA#rose's rambles#undertale#undertale au#underverse#underverse 0.8#underverse isn't my favourite au of all time#because of some character and worldbuilding stuff that doesn't line up with my personal interpretation#(not a bad thing btw!!! it's amazing that people have their own interpretations and aus!!!)#(i am not criticising it for something as stupid as not catering exactly to my personal headcanons!!! i still really like the series!!)#(it just means i get the occasional 'he would not fucking say that' moment while watching it lol)#(anyway where was i going with this?)#(oh yeah)#but STARS IS IT INCREDIBLE HOW MUCH TIME AND WORK AND LOVE HAS GONE INTO THIS SERIES
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i didnt plan to spend my sunday this way
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#'snap how do you keep finding yourself in these situations' I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW LISTEN TO ME#so all i did last night was draw erik in his lil robe from ToM cause my twitter was liking that old drawing i did#and then i woke up wanting to draw his stupid Lougne Wear when he's on the meteor yk the one Sanctuary From 92#so i started flipping through my 92 art book to find the ref for it then i just kept reading until i got to the end where i saw the#how they say 'anime influenced' designs and i had already wanted to draw charles' chari from that at some point#but THEEEEN I NOTICED HE HAD A LIL RING WITH A RED STONE ????#its on his right hand so Whatever but charles xavier you are not slick i know what you are ........#if i make that ring a staple in my classic charles drawings dont look at me itll depend on the weather tho tbh ANYWAYS#and then i remembered i had my old Cave Dweller Charles sketches from ever ago and i was like#'well i might as well finish those' but then i draw two more. and then i was like#'well since im here ive always wanted to draw charles in that robe erik gives him after saving him from the snow storm'#'in' is a very generous term it is falling OFF him but STILL#i should do something about that lil snow storm rescue now that ive mentioned it .. tho maybe i can tie it in with my 309 thing ..#SO FUNNY I WAS GONNA CONTINUE WORKING ON T HAT TODAY. AND NOW WE'RE HERE#this is what i mean guys its a nightmare and a miracle i can get anything done ever when i get distracted so easily#.i was gonna include another doodle of charles in his lil battle outfit but then i figured id done enough solo charles doodles today#anyways. plesae enjoy !!!!!!! i MUST objective charles more.....
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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I have to draw lulu with a money gun. It's her weapon of choice.
#look at her. she's so stupid#my rich little brat. spoiled by money lol#at the moment I'm just figuring out what she might do with all that money. what rich people thing will she do?#she's the kind of person who will bet big money on her favorite horse just to show support to said horse. so gambling#she also pays people to get her way. It worked when her adoptive older brother did it!#she's such an ass I love her#money is her weapon 1. violence is her weapon 2. she's not very violent though. i didn't notice it but a lot of times. when it's an option#she actually just removes herself from the situation. which is interesting to me because i never intended that but I like it#i also never intended it but she doesn't hit people even as a joke. if she hits you it's to hurt you. otherwise#she doesn't do it as a joke or unintentionally or to snap people out of their spiraling thoughts. she's always: 'what do you want to do?'#she's very indulgent of the people she loves. very sweet of her. it doesn't necessarily solve their problems though XD#i'm kind of drawing something else so her money gun can wait#i forgot she actually bought Ene a horse!! well. more like she asked her big brother to buy them a horse because s#they have the same birthday. showering friends and fam expensive shit they don't have the means to take care of#the horses are in her home. ene visits often enough. he practically lives there so it's fine.
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everyone talks about how roses have thorns, but how often do they mention how soft their petals are, how their scent melts your worries and how the curve of their petals hold your tears when you cry, how when you give them a little water, sunshine and care, they will bloom, just for you, just to brighten up your day. just to see you smile.
#this is abt my rose btw#she’s healing something really broken in me and I just can’t express how much I love her#I’ve been feeling severely depressed lately bc I realized a while ago that my close friend group is no longer that#and it’s just shattered me bc like how do I even begin to talk abt that? or work through it#esp since I feel like sometimes I’m overthinking it all#but I know truly that I’m not#and it fucking hurts#;w;#anyways.#had another breakdown today and it lasted a few hours before I was able to snap myself out of kt#I asked rose for a hug and without a question or anything she smiled and gave me such a big hug#like we are talking good healing hugs TwT#and then I hear her get SHOT on her computer and I’m like ????? IM SO SORRY!! I had no idea!#and she sheepishly told me she was one of two left and I’m like#;;;;;;-;;;;;#she gave up her battle royal without a second thought just to give my stupid ass a hug#like yk how fucking in love w someone u have to be ;-;#anyways I cried about it a lot and I love my rose so much#it’s been a while since I’ve done a venting type post on main but idk just the fact that she did this for me#this is my little homage to her#Ilysm#marco rants
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how many vent posts about your mother are you allowed in one day before tumblr kills you with hammers asking for a friend
#anyway i knew i shouldn't have said anything i promised myself i wouldn't and yet. lo and behold. im so stupid godddddd#but she was the one who started this topic. not an excuse for me being a bitch ofc but like. god. i really am at my limit.#all i said was 'i just wish we didnt have to talk about cancer at least on my birthday' and i didnt even say it in a mean way but like ok#every time i snap and let a single truthful sentence about what *i* feel slip i feel like i should be stoned to death for it fr#and like ofc she has to get all defensive about it. 'im wasnt the one who started it' because my cousin's gf mentioned her grandfather dyin#of an incurable disease thats mostly genetic and my mom lost her shit because how DARE someone talk about a deadly disease that isnt cancer#her covering behind an 'i didnt start it' is so funny too considering how fond she is#of steering every conversation into Cancer and/or My Husband waters 🫠#but like ok. its whatever. i should have shut the fuck up. im 23 not 10 i should be able to control myself better but alas 🤡 clown town.#i should just shut up and bear it with dignity. this was not very Raised Catholic of me 🙃
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Sometimes I remember the people I’ve met irl over the years and I’m just like. Oh. Wow. I have odd taste when it comes to the people I choose to be around
#I knew a girl who’s a year younger than me who would probably try to get me hooked oh heroin#she also had 3 assault charges by the age of 14#her dog bit a hole through my hand#she’s chill though#I also knew a chick who when she was a junior she had to stop going to school for a couple months because people were actually trying-#to harm her irl and were sending her death threats#there’s this one guy I know who has schizophrenia and gave himself a god complex to cancel out his depression#(and it worked!)#he also literally brainwashed one of our friends to where if anyone snaps their fingers 3 times near them they think of killing their mom#also the girl who was getting death threats had her family put alarms on all the windows in her house#‘I don’t know why’ GIRL YOU SNUCK OUT AT NIGHT AND ROBBED A CONVENIENCE STORE!!!#this is what I meant when I said some of y’all need to know more people btw. like I know someone from every social group#not to mention the one person who texted me (I didn’t have their contact saved) who opened with#‘I saw some roadkill you might like’#this isn’t me dissing any of these people btw#these are all my friends I’m talking about#tbh this is why that whole thing with the dramswap/Ibvs stuff was so stupid to me#like these are just some of the things off the top of my head from my irl teen life#‘the characters are minors so make them wholesome’ meanwhile real people act like this LMAO#andy rambles#might delete this later lol#this is all with a positive connotation#just need to clarify that
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